So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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