on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
