Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
jump out the window naked night went bad
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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