so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
