never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
