I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize