I can't breathe out the right side of my face
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The air was thick with penises
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize