Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
