You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
