I must be too annoying 4 u.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
