Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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