She announced her abortion via fbk
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
