so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
