i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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