he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
