yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
