btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
