As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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