yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
