Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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