You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
