you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
