mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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