your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
