His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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