Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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