Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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