So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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