Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
