He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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