I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
