Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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