Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
