i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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