I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
