I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
