you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
