why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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