that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My penis needs a shock collar
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
