There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
