We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
