I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
