dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
either way he was missing a nipple.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
