Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
wow bdsm is so cute
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