sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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