Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
