I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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