Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
