dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
