I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
