Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
