wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
