That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
