Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize