Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
