you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
