WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
