I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
