turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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