Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
