We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
