Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
