walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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