A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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