Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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