I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize