i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So squirting runs in the family.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
