I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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